


The Devil On My Shoulder

by DeadPoet207



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angels, Demons, Destiel - Freeform, Hallucinations, Love, Love Triangles, Lucifer's Cage, M/M, Rape Aftermath, Rape/Non-con Elements, Sabriel - Freeform, Samifer - Freeform, Supernatural - Freeform, Torture
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-09-29
Updated: 2015-04-28
Packaged: 2018-02-19 05:53:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 17,207
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2377193
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DeadPoet207/pseuds/DeadPoet207
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sam continues to suffer from hallucinations, tortured by the memories of what Lucifer did to him, which only makes it worse when the real Lucifer returns. With the Devil and an Archangel seeking his affections Sam will have to choose between Lucifer, the one who tortured him and Gabriel, the one who gave his life to try to save them.<br/>Dean tries to come to grips with his feelings for Castiel as he searches for a way to help his little brother.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Sam awoke with a scream, sweat drenching his skin and causing his t-shirt to cling uncomfortably to his chest, which was heaving up and down with each labored breath. His heart was practically trying to break loose from the entrapment of his ribcage. These were the only sounds in the lonely silence of the small hotel room. Images of his nightmare still rolled around in his memory, like a movie playing on repeat in his head. He was thankful that Dean was busy helping Bobby with a skinwalker case and not there to see his brother on the verge of frightened tears.  


Ever since the wall had come tumbling down everything had gotten worse. The nightmares, the hallucinations, they had become more than just a nuisance and more of his own personal Hell on Earth.  


Sam had dreamt of Hell.  


He dreamt of a specific time. He had been in the cage, Lucifer and Michael would take turns torturing him, sometimes even coming together to create a horror that even now he was unable to comprehend. Sometimes they would be there, and sometimes it would seem as though they had faded into the black abyss that surrounded them. This time, however, had been different.  


Michael had had his fill of infliction upon the poor soul of the hunter and had melted into the blackness. The pain was a combination of burning and freezing, sometimes it was almost impossible to tell which it was. He was passed screaming for the most part, as it was pointless. He was in Hell, and in a cage. Even if someone could hear him, instead of helping they would most likely pull up a chair and eat popcorn while watching him being torn apart.  


He was lying there, writhing, waiting. That was when Lucifer came. Sam cowered, waiting for Lucifer to bring forth the flames, to rip at flesh that technically was not there. It was strange how that worked. Though he no longer was bound to his body, he was still Sam. He felt as though nothing had changed, and appeared as though nothing had changed. So every wound felt real, every burn ached, and the fear was white and pure. He waited… and Waited…  


And waited.  


However, instead of that expected agony he felt rough hands on his body. Lucifer flipped Sam so that his back was exposed. He ran those hands all over his body and Sam shuddered. He knew exactly what was to come next. He tried to get away, he tried to scream, but it was all pointless.  


Sam tried to shake away the memory of his dream, climbing out of bed and shuffling to the tiny bathroom. He repeatedly splashed cold water on his face, washing away the beads of sweat. He peeled off his damp t-shirt and threw it to the side, staring at his disheveled reflection in the mirror.  


“Reminiscing our time together?” An all too familiar voice broke the silence. Sam felt both fear and annoyance at the sound of Lucifer’s voice, as he knew this was simply a hallucination.  


“Shut up,” he threatened.  


“Oh, Sammy, come on. Don’t pretend you don’t enjoy my company,”  


“You aren’t real,” he grunted through clenched teeth, turning to meet the gaze of a smiling devil.  


“You keep saying that yet,” he gestured around, “here I am!”  


“I said to leave me the hell alone,” he voice trembled slightly.  


“Oh Sammy, it’s that fire that… dominance that made me want you so badly. I just couldn’t keep my hands off you,” although mocking and playful, there was something sinister in the way he spoke, and his stomach bean to churn. He did not want to have that conversation, especially not with Lucifer, and so he simply ignored him.  


Sam walked out of the bathroom and grabbed a beer out of the mini-fridge which Dean kept stocked at all times. He took a long gulp of the heavenly alcohol, planning to drink away his insanity.  


“Tsk Tsk Sammy, self-medicating?” Lucifer frowned with exaggerated disappointment, “Then again, I suppose it isn’t too surprising. After all, your brother is a drunk, Bobby is a drunk, even your pathetic father liked to drink himself into oblivion when reality was too much,” he ticked each person off on his fingers.  


“Shut up,” he repeated.  


“It’s no wonder why your family is so broken and pitiful. When you can’t deal with what life hands you, you drink. You should really consider an AA meeting,”  


“I said shut up!” He roared. Without warning he threw his beer at Lucifer who disappeared before it neared him. The bottle smashed against the wall, broken glass and beer soaking the bed.  


“Temper Sammy, temper,” Lucifer smiled from the opposite side of the room. Before Sam could do or say anything else, another voice sounded, one he knew was real.  


“Sam?” Castiel asked. Sam was comforted by the sight of that all too serious expression and trench coat. He had to fight off the urge to hug and thank the angel for saving him from himself.  


“Uh… Hey Cas,” he mumbled, suddenly appearing very embarrassed.  


“What happened?”  


“I…” He searched his mind for any excuse that wouldn’t give away his mental instability, but it was too late.  


“It’s getting worse,” Cas said with a downcast gaze.  


“Yeah,”  


“Worse? I thought we were just starting to have fun,” Lucifer purred in the corner. Sam ignored him.  


“How bad?”  


“Bad enough,” Sam shrugged.  


“Have you told Dean?”  


He shook his head.  


“You should te-“  


“No Cas, if he knew it would make things worse. He can’t do anything so all it would do it make him worry. I’d rather just keep this quiet for now, you know? Besides… He would blame you,”  


“As well as he should. This is my fault, I’m sorry Sam,” the angel looked incredibly sad. Castiel continued to blame himself for Sam’s condition, regretting knocking down the wall that had kept memories of hell at bay. He had promised to replace it, but by the time he was back to his normal, awkward angel self, it was far too late. The wall had not only been knocked down, but completely obliterated. There was nothing to fix, and now he was left with memories too intense for his mind to handle.  


“No, come on, you didn’t know what you were doing,”  


“Yes, Sam, I did. That is why I deserve your hatred. I understand why you cannot forgive me, what I did was… An abomination,” he practically choked on the word, his blue eyes flickered to those of the younger Winchester and waited for him to yell, to perhaps even throw a bottle at him. He fully believed he deserved it.  


“Well I’m forgiving you okay?” He truly did not blame him for what was happening.  


“Oh Sammy! What a saint you are!” The devil exclaimed.  


“I do not deserve your forgiveness,” he shook his head.  


“He’s right you know. He is the reason your noodle is all messed up, the reason I’m here right now. If it were not for him, you’d probably be out there right now, with your brother, doing what you do best. Instead you have to fake illnesses so that your precious brother doesn’t find out about your little problem,” Lucifer taunted.  


Sam said nothing and only shot him a glare.  


“Whoo! If looks could kill!”  


“Deserving or not, I do. There isn’t a point in dwelling on that. We’ll find a way to get the wall replaced and I’ll be alright,”  


“Dean sent me here to check on you, what should I tell him?”  


“Tell him I’m managing, if you tell him I’m fine he won’t believe you.”  


“If you ever need anything Sam, just pray,” Castiel said, and with that he was gone.  


“Alone again, whatever shall we do?” Lucifer was practically bouncing on the bed excitedly.  


“How about you leave me the hell alone?” Sam suggested sarcastically.  


“Oh Sam! You wound me! We have a bond now, you and I. We’ve shared Hell, my cage, a mind, and our bodies. How many other people can say they have made love to the devil?”  


“You… Raped me,” He gulped.  


“Oh Sammy, just keep telling yourself that,”  
~*~  


“What do you mean he’s gotten worse?” Dean crossed his arms and stared at the angel with confusion.  


“He threw a bottle against a wall. His hallucinations appear to be more severe than before,” Cas knew he was going against what Sam said, but he also knew Dean needed to know the truth.  


“Shit,” Dean cursed.  


“If we do not find a way to help him soon he will be lost,”  


“Lost? You mean like lost in his mind? In his hallucinations?” Dean wondered, terrified at the thought of his brother being trapped in his own personal hell.  


“Lost as in dead. He doesn’t appear to be sleeping and clearly he has been eating less. His life force will eventually deteriorate and he will die. He needs food and sleep,”  


Dean swallowed bitterly at the thought of losing his brother. He had seen Sam die before, a couple of times, and he himself had died over 100 times. Yet no matter how many times they were separated, it never got easier. The thought of Sammy dying, whether the chances of him coming back were good or not, was just as painful and hard as ever.  


“Well what the hell do we do?”  


“I don’t know,”  


“Dammit Cas!” Dean slammed his fist against the hood of his Impala.  


“I can’t do anything Dean, you know that,” Cas kept his voice calm and even.  


“I know, I’m sorry. I just… I can’t lose him. He’s my little brother, I can’t lose him, not like this,” tears pricked his eyes and both men undoubtedly heard the tremor of his voice. That was when Castiel did something entirely uncharacteristic. He stepped forward and embraced the hunter in front of him. At first, Dean just stood there, a little shocked by what was happening, but after a few seconds he was hugging him back.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh, as you may have noticed, Bobby is alive. I don't have the heart to have him dead in my fanfic so my little present to you all is his life!

A week had passed since his visit from Castiel. Sam was exhausted. He couldn’t sleep for every attempt ended in a cold sweat and the memories of whatever nightmare tormented him at the time. He couldn’t eat, he barely drank unless it was a beer, overall he looked worse for wear. Worse still, Dean was supposed to come back that night and once he saw Sam’s sickly appearance, panic and worry were sure to follow.  


“Well hello there Sammy, long time no see,” Lucifer appeared. Sam groaned.  


“Leave me alone,” he muttered miserably.  


“Hmm… Not usually the Winchester response. You look quite awful you know that?”  


“I’m well aware,”  


“I’m surprised you aren’t trying to kill me,”  


“Is that supposed to be a joke?” He eyed the devil wearily, too tired to even feel fear anymore towards this hallucination. Now he was annoyed.  


“I don’t think so. What, might I ask, is wrong with you?”  


“Just shut up,”  


This angered Lucifer.  


“You listen here,” he suddenly snapped, “you pathetic piece of meat. You might have been special at one point, but now that I don’t need you as a vessel you are nothing but another ant for me to step on, so I suggest you keep that mouth shut,”  


Sam was admittedly thrown off by this. He wasn’t used to this type of response.  


“You aren’t real,” he sighed more to himself than the evil presence in front of him.  


“Oh trust me Sammy, I am very real,” he said in a low voice.  


“Just leave me alone, please,” he practically begged.  


“What the hell is wrong with you?” He demanded more forcefully this time. Sam didn’t answer. Lucifer was not the type to be ignored. “I asked you a question, I expect a response,” he grabbed the hunter by the throat and slammed him against the wall. Suddenly Sam was wide eyed.  


No matter how afraid Sam was of each and every hallucination, especially those involving the devil, he always held on to the tiny bit of knowledge that none of them could touch him. They gave him the illusion of sharp pain and burning, but never could they reach out and touch him. This knowledge allowed him to hold onto a tiny bit of sanity, just enough to keep him from going completely bat-shit crazy.  


Yet here he was, his neck being squeezed by what he had thought was merely a hallucination. But… It had to all be fake right? Lucifer was in his cage, the seals had not been broken again, so what the hell was going on?  


“You…This can’t be real. You’ve never been able to… You can’t touch me,” he choked, in denial. Once again, Lucifer seemed incredibly confused. His brow furrowed for a moment, and then suddenly, realization hit him. A slow smile began to twitch his lips, growing larger with each passing second. His voice lowered into a smooth menacing murmur as he released Sam from his grip.  


“Oh Sam, they actually put that pathetically tortured thing back inside you didn’t they? You know, when Death retrieved your soul I thought maybe he was taking it to heaven, that God had actually convinced Death to run an errand for him. That seemed more plausible and logical than returning it to your body. But, here you are, fully in tact! Tell me Sammy, how’s your noodle now a day? Have a bit of a headache?”  


“What is going on?”  


“Well, I don’t know how to break this to you, but I’m 100% real and very much here with you right now,” his smile grew. Sam tried to swallow his fear.  


“That’s impossible, the seals….”  


“Have not been broken, I know. I’m just as surprised as you are,”  


Sam refused to believe that Lucifer was actually there. However, deep inside he knew. In the twisting of his gut he could sense the truth. This was not how the fake Lucifer acted. This was different, and he had been able to touch him… His palms began to sweat and his heart raced frantically.  


“Ah,” the devil inhaled deeply, “You have no idea how good it is to smell fear again. Now this is the Sammy I know so well,” he winked.  


“But how?” He croaked.  


“Someone pulled me out,”  


“Who?”  


“See, I can’t tell you that. One of the conditions to this whole binding spell thing,” at the mention of the spell his expression went sour, as if he had a bad taste in his mouth.  


“Binding spell?”  


“Yes, like the one you tried to put on Death,”  


“I didn’t think you could bind the Devil,”  


“You can bind God with the right spell, it’s just really fucking difficult. It’s not particularly easy to bind me either but hell, they did it!”  


“I’ve only known angels and Death to be able to remove a person from hell though.”  


Lucifer said nothing and instead just raised his brow with a sly smile.  


“Death?”  


No response.  


“Look, if you expect me to believe that an angel pulled you out of hell then you must be a complete idiot,” he growled.  


“I don’t expect you to believe anything. I don’t give a shit what you believe,”  


“How, though? Explain that to me,”  


“I don’t know, Sam, but I figure if two pathetic humans and the sorry shell of an angel can put me in my cage than why shouldn’t an Archangel be able to pull me out?” He shrugged. Sam was shocked by the mention of an archangel. Most of the angels were already stuck up and very righteous as it was, an archangel was just that much worse. They would never stoop so low as to free Lucifer. Another thought intruded upon his mind and he couldn’t help but ask.  


“Why you? Why not Michael? I mean, he’s an angel,”  


“I don’t know,”  


“Then why are you here?”  


“I need your help,” each word dripped with venom, almost like it pained him to say them. Sam couldn’t help but snort. “Mock me and you will regret it. If it were not for the fact that I have been ordered not to harm you, Dean, and even that pet angel of yours, you would all be dead by now,”  


“And you want me to do what? Break the binding spell?”  


“Exactly,”  


“How the hell am I supposed to do that?”  


“You’re a smart boy, I’m sure you’ll figure something out,”  


“Why would I help you?” Sam finally asked.  


“If you do I promise safety to you and your brother. Hell, I’ll even allow Castiel to live,”  


“Safety from what exactly?”  


He began to smile, “me,”  


“What if I say no, you can’t hurt me anyway,” he reminded him.  


“Well,” he began with that sickeningly sweet tone, “then I tell Dean, Cas, I’ll tell everyone you’ve ever come in contact with everything we did together in the cage,”  


“Y-You raped me,” Sam spluttered, “there’s nothing else to tell.”  


“You didn’t enjoy it at all?” He raised a brow.  


“No…”  


“Even when I sucked you off?”  


“Shut up! Shut the fuck up!” He suddenly snapped. He had tried to long not to think about that, about everything that had happened.  


In Hell, it had all been torture for so long. There had been so much terror and pain, and then suddenly things had changed. At first, it was rape, but eventually, Sam was willing to do anything not to feel pain. He was willing to do anything to feel just a split second of pleasure.  


Anything.  


It didn’t hurt either that Lucifer had chosen an attractive vessel to begin with. So after a while, Sam unwillingly became drawn to the devil, becoming naturally excited by his presence. Even now, standing there, his heart was hammering and he felt an odd twisting in his stomach. He wondered if his face was red.  


“Or I could just kill you,” Sam suddenly said, as if he was just now realizing this. He carefully walked over to his bag, keeping a good distance between himself and the evil presence, and withdrawing an angel blade. “I mean, you’re still an angel aren’t you? Maybe evil and twisted, but you belong to the angel species. This could still kill you couldn’t it?” Sam waved the silver stake-like weapon in the air.  


Lucifer tried to hide the sliver of fear that crawled under his skin. He was defenseless essentially. Even as a masterful liar, even Sam could see that slight change in demeanor and the tiniest strain behind his smile.  


“I can give you Crowley,” he added. Sam thought this over.  


“What about Meg?” He asked. The devil wrinkled his nose in slight confusion.  


“What about her?”  


“Can you guarantee her protection too? And for Bobby?”  


“Want to add the entire U.S. population while you’re at it? Fine!” He growled.  


“And I want you to put back the wall,”  


“Wall?”  


“When Death replaced my soul he put up a mental wall to keep me from remembering Hell,” he explained.  


“And you want me to create a new one? How the hell am I supposed to do that?” His brow furrowed.  


“You’re smart, I’m sure you’ll figure something out,” he shot back.  


“But Sammy, then you won’t remember all the fun times we ha…”  


“No, no joking, teasing, mocking, none of that crap. I get enough of that from you on a daily basis. I need to know when it’s actually you, so none of that shit,” he threatened darkly.  


While he would never admit it, Lucifer was scared of Sam, just a little. He was walking a slippery slope with the distraught Winchester. He now had the ability and means to kill him, and the only thing keeping him alive was the fact that he was expected to fix his damaged brain. Nonetheless, he would never show this fear. He would continue to push, to show that he was still the true King of Hell and would not allow him himself to be belittled by this pathetic human.  


“Fine,” he shrugged.  


“So is that it?”  


“Oh, you mean is the deal sealed? Not quite yet, no. Come on Sammy, you of all people should know how this works,”  


“You mean we have to, you know,”  


“Kiss? Yes,”  


Sam had had his fill of kisses from Lucifer and had been contented with the thought of never experiencing them again. “I thought that was Crowley’s thing,” he pointed out.  


“I’m Lucifer, the original King of Hell, where do you think he got it from?” He teased lightly. Sam internally groaned at this. Before the devil could say anything else he closed the distance between them and smashed his lips against the other man’s. He tried to keep it short, but Lucifer had other plans and wrapped his fingers in Sam’s long brown hair, making him immobile. The devil’s lips were warm, hot even, and pressed firmly against the hunter. At first, he thought it was his way tormenting the younger Winchester, but then something happened. A sharp pain shot through his head and throbbed agonizingly. He pushed Lucifer away and gasped for breath, holding his temples and wincing.  


“What the fuck did you do?”  


“Oh, not much just decided to speed up the process of insanity. Your hallucinations are going to be so much worse; just a little incentive to work fast is all. See you soon Sammy,” and with a sly wink, he was gone.  


“Sometimes I forget how attractive I am,” this time he knew it was fake Lucifer.  


“Not now,” he practically cried, falling to his knees, holding his head and trying to fight through the pain.  


“But Sammy, wait, I brought a friend this time,” he exclaimed excitedly. Suddenly, standing beside him was Michael, still in Adam’s body. He stared down at the writhing man with pure fury. Sam cowered away. Even in hell, he had feared the angel more than he had the devil.  


“Sam Winchester, it’s so good to see you again. You trapped me in hell and left me there. I’m going to kill you. First I’m going to tear your mind apart, and then I’m going to kill you,” he hissed.  


“Oh, and Sammy, look! With your noggin all knocked around and mushy, I was able to learn a new trick. Watch!” He snapped his fingers and suddenly everything went black.  


He was back in the cage.  


There was nowhere for him to hide, he was trapped with the two beings who had for so long been worse than a nightmare.  


Michael started to move towards him, slowly. There was no rush, he knew there was nowhere for him to run and he would do what he wanted until Sam was nothing but a bloodied mess.  


“Don’t worry Sammy, I’ll make it all better when he’s done. I’ll make you feel good,” Lucifer murmured headily.  


“No, leave me alone!” He screamed.  


“Hey, Sammy, hey!” Dean’s voice tore him back to reality. “Come on, come back,” he shook his brother slightly.  


Sam looked up at Dean and tears glistened in his eyes. He didn’t say anything, he didn’t need to. Instead Dean just held him.  
~*~  


Dean sat in the driver’s seat of his Impala. The sun was just beginning to show signs of making an appearance, a slight glow breaking through the darkness on the horizon. He let out a long sigh, rubbing the back of his neck tiredly.  


They finally had managed to get Sam to sleep after two strong sleeping pills and a little angel mojo from Cas. Now he was left to his own worries. He hated seeing his brother like this, and he hated how useless he felt. There was nothing he could do to protect Sam, though he was determined to find a way.  


“How is he doing?”  


“Dammit Cas!” Dean cursed. “Stop doing that!”  


“I’m sorry Dean,” The blue-eyed angel said, staring straight ahead.  


“Well, he thinks Michael and Lucifer are in the hotel room trying to kill him and that he is in hell but other than that he’s doing just peachy,” Dean snapped.  


“I’m sorry, but right now we have a more pressing issue,”  


“Look, I don’t care if the whole damn world is coming to an end nothing is more impor-“  


“Lucifer has been freed,” This caught the hunter’s attention. He stared at Cas.  


“That’s impossible, he’s still in his cage,” Dean shook his head.  


“Well someone pulled him out,”  


“How do you know this?” He wondered.  


“Sam told me,”  


With that Dean relaxed and felt a small rush of relief. He rolled his eyes, “He’s a little off his rocker at the moment Cas,”  


“Sam is tormented by his hallucinations, but he is able to determine what is real and not. He recognizes that he is going insane. This was different though, he believes this to be one hundred percent real. The way he spoke, I believe him Dean,” Cas said completely seriously.  


“So he is getting worse,”  


“There is bruising around his neck that coincides with his story,”  


“Maybe he did it to himself. Look Cas, we put that son-of-a-bitch in his cage and there is no way he could have gotten out. Besides, why would he tell you instead of me?”  


“Because he knew you wouldn’t believe him,” he sighed, finally meeting his eyes with Dean’s.  


Dean went silent, feeling a pit in his stomach. That’s how Sammy felt? Like he couldn’t trust him? He was his brother, they weren’t supposed to keep secrets. But he hadn’t been wrong, here he was doubting him. However, this was Lucifer! It had taken a good amount of time for Lilith to break the seals, and it had taken a good amount of effort to put the bastard back. So the idea that he could just be pulled out was ridiculous! Yet… He had to trust Sammy didn’t he? He ran his fingers against his lips in thought.  


“Alright, okay, assuming this is true, not saying it is but for Sam’s sake let’s just pretend, who and why?”  


“The only thing we know is that it was an archangel. He has been put under a binding spell so we aren’t sure why they did it, or what they plan to use him for,”  


“So basically we know absolutely nothing. What the hell did Lucifer want anyway?”  


“He wants us to break the binding spell,”  


“And Sammy said yes?” Dean raised an eyebrow.  


“Yes, apparently he is…”Cas furrowed his brow, before adding, “red mailing him?”  


“You mean black mailing,”  


“Right,”  


“What could he possibly have over Sam that would make him agree to help the devil?”  


“Something big enough to keep from me and you. I don’t know Dean,”  


“So we are going to help Lucifer in exchange for keeping secrets? Have you guys lost your minds?” He snapped.  


“He will protect you, Sam, myself, Meg, Bobby, along with replacing the wall in your brothers head and handing us Crowley on a silver platter,” Cas said seriously in his deep gravelly voice, “I think it’s something we have to consider,”  


Dean had barely heard anything else, just the part about the wall. If Lucifer could replace that wall, hell, Dean would sell his own soul if needed. He would do anything for the safety of his brother, even if that meant helping their enemy.  


“Alright, okay, so we help him. How do we know he will keep his word though?” He wondered.  


“Uh,” suddenly, the blue-eyed angel looked very awkward, shifting uncomfortably in his seat.  


“Cas?”  


“Well,” he cleared his throat, “there is only one was to seal a deal with a demon,”  


Dean raised his brows. “You mean they, you know, kissed?”  


“Yes,”  


“I thought that was Crowley’s thing,”  


“Well, perhaps Crowley adopted it from Lucifer,” Cas suggested.  


“He’s not even a real demon though, right? He’s an angel,”  


“Yes, technically he in an angel, but do not mistake him for being anything like me or my brothers and sisters. He is wicked, his grace stained and tainted with pure evil. His exile created a monster far worse than any demon we have encountered before. So while he belongs to the angels in species, he is no more an angel than any common demon,” he explained.  


“So we help the devil,” he sighed. He couldn’t believe those words were coming from his mouth. He had teamed up with vampires, demons, even Death himself, but Lucifer? Even that felt strange to the hunter. Simply saying those words left a sour flavor in his mouth. Family came first, though, and Sam was all that mattered. He would do anything to help fix that mess of a mind, even if that meant helping the epitome of evil.  


“The first thing we need to do is find out who cast the spell to begin with. It may lead to clues to how to break it,” Cas told him.  


“How do we do that?” Dean wondered. Angel tracking was hard enough. They had no leads and no clues. Essentially, they were screwed.  


“We watch the papers, have Sam monitor the interweb, if the archangel brought Lucifer out and not Michael, it was for a purpose. He will eventually turn up somewhere,”  


“And if that doesn’t work?” Dean raised a skeptical eyebrow. The angel suddenly looked tired.  


“I don’t know,” it was obvious Castiel was distressed. The hunter could not help but feel a little responsible for it too. After all, he relied on him for practically everything now a day, as if he expected him to always have the answer. He was constantly releasing his frustrations out on him, and to top it all off, the poor trench-coated fool blamed himself for Sam’s condition and just about everything wrong with the world. He was beaten down and broken but ever so determined to fix it all. It wasn’t particularly fair.  


“Hey, it’s alright, we’ll figure it out,” Dean reached across and rested a hand on his shoulder reassuringly. Cas offered him a small smile in return and Dean couldn’t help but beam at that. He loved it when Cas smiled. He didn’t do it often, as he was normally so serious and stone-faced. So when he did smile, it made him feel like things were right in the world, just for that second, and he could relax. It was also nice to see his friend not so incredibly uptight.  


"You should smile more,” he was thinking more out loud than he was actually directing the statement at the confused angel. Castiel tilted his head curiously.  


“Why?”  


“It makes you look happy, more relaxed, and would stress people out less,” he explained.  


“Oh,” he frowned, “do I stress you out?”  


“Well yeah, sometimes, but everyone does. Don’t worry about it,”  


Castiel turned away for a second, and at first he thought he had offended his friend. However, when he turned back around, Dean lost himself in a fit of laughter. Castiel had plastered on the cheesiest, most forced grin that Dean had ever seen. Tears sprang to his eyes and his sides began to ache. The angel just sat there, looking more confused than he had before.  


“Did it make you happy?” he finally asked when his friend’s laughter had subsided and dissolved into a simple wide-smile.  


“Yes, but you don’t have to do that. Just don’t be afraid to show that you are happy once in a while,”  



	3. Chapter 3

Sam felt like he had been hit with a ton of bricks. His head throbbed and he groaned as he slowly sat up.  


“Sam, you’re awake! Hey, take it easy, how are you feeling?” In a flash Dean was by his side, staring at him with concern.  


“I feel like shit. How long have I been out?”  


“Two days,”  


Sam stared at his brother, “What happened?”  


“What do you remember?”  


“I remember thinking Lucifer and Michael were there, trying to get me, I was back in the cage, and then nothing,”  


“What about your little visit from Lucifer. Remember that?”  


Sam let out a long sigh and winced slightly, “Cas told you?” He guessed.  


“Yeah, Sam, and he shouldn’t have been the one to do it. I thought we agreed no secrets,”  


“Look Dean, I’m sorry, but would you have believed me? I mean, did you believe Cas when he told you?” Sam pointed out. He got up from the bed and stretched carefully, as if testing each and every muscle before putting it into full movement. Eventually he made his way to his bag to retrieve some painkillers. He swallowed them dry and turned back to his silent brother. Dean’s eyes were locked on him, watching, assessing his every move.  


“What?” Sam asked.  


“Just making sure you don’t collapse and convulse again. You know, from those hallucinations you failed to tell me were getting worse?” He smiled sarcastically. Sam internally noted not to confide in Castiel anymore. Of course, he knew that he only told Dean out of concern.  


“Dean, there isn’t anything you can do. Right now, my only hope is helping Lucifer,”  


“That isn’t the point. If I had cancer and didn’t tell you until I was on my death bed, what would you do?” He threw back. Sam rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. Dean was right. If the roles had been reversed, Sam would be furious that Dean kept something like that from him.  


“Okay, you’re right, I’m sorry. I just knew you were busy and had more important things to worry about,” he shrugged.  


“Family is the most important thing, okay? You know that.”  


“Alright, well, now you know so what do we do?” He crossed his arms over his chest.  


“Well Cas suggested we keep an eye out for Lucifer, you know, watch the papers and the news, see if anything turns up,”  


“Gonna hunt me down Sammy?” Lucifer’s voice sounded behind them. Dean’s lack of reaction told Sam which devil was on his shoulder this time. Dean must have notices Sam’s sudden discomfort.  


“He here?” He asked. Sam simply nodded. “Gotta fight, just ignore him and listen to me,”  


“You can’t ignore me,” his hot breath met Sam’s ear and he shivered. “Why would you want to ignore me anyway?” He voice was rough in an almost aroused way.  


Ever since Lucifer brought forth his memories, his hallucinations had become more like his time in hell. Sam felt his heart begin to race and his breathing come out in short gasps.  


“Hey Sam, you gonna be okay?” Dean’s brow furrowed with concern.  


“Oh I can make you feel more than okay, Sammy,” Lucifer growled into his ear.  


Not now, Sam groaned. After so long in Hell, being conditioned to be excited by the mere presence of Lucifer, he couldn’t help but to feel a tightening in his stomach, and in his pants.  


“I’m still feeling a little groggy. I’m going to go take a shower.  


He made his way to the bathroom, trying to calm his heart. Lucifer would have none of that.  


“Oh a shower? I can’t wait to watch,”  


Sam turned the water as hot as it would go, practically scorching his skin. It felt wonderful against his stiff muscles and relaxed the tension that had built earlier. He closed his eyes, shutting out the image of Lucifer, who had taken his place sitting on a counter.  


“You are as incredibly good-looking as I remember. In fact, you look even better now that you aren’t beaten and bloodied. You know, if you were trying to escape me, coming to the shower was a terrible idea,” he smirked. Suddenly, his voice seemed closer, right behind him. “If only I could touch you,” he murmured. Sam turned around to find Lucifer standing there, naked and wet despite the fact that the water wasn’t actually touching him. With no cloth barriers to hide him, Sam’s sudden arousal was obvious.  


“Get out,” he demanded shakily.  


“I would, if that’s what you wanted, but look at your body Sam. I think you want me to stay,” he purred seductively.  


“Go away,” he said more forcefully. Lucifer simply smiled and said nothing. His hands began to travel down his own body, moving over his sculpted chest and well defined abdomen. His flesh glistened under the water and despite all that he had said, he wondered how it would feel to feel that slickened skin, to have it beneath his fingertips. His cock twitched at the thought. Sam didn’t realize he had been biting his lower lip until he tasted blood. He tried to look away from the show the devil was putting on but could not.  


Finally, Lucifer grasped himself, massaging his erection. He moaned at his own touch and his hips bucked a little. At this, Sam was hard, and he considered turning the water to a colder temperature. Instead, his own hand began to move south.  


“It’s too bad I can’t touch you Sammy,” he gasped, “Just imagine what I could do for you with my own hands, with my mouth,”  


He thrust into his hand at a steady pace, using the precome at the tip of his cock for added lubrication. At this point, Lucifer wasn’t even trying to put on a show, he was lost in his own pleasure. Well, of course, he wasn’t real, but that is how he appeared. His every sound was soft, intimate, and Sam found it incredibly arousing. He tried to keep his moans to soft murmurs and whimpers as he felt that familiar build. Lucifer too seemed to be nearing his climax.  


“Are you going to come for me? Like you used to Sammy?” He panted between moans. With a strangled cry, Sam came, Lucifer following only a few seconds later.  


Sam leaned against the tile wall of the shower, his chest heaving and his body still tingling from his orgasm. Then he realized what had happened, what he had done.  


“See Sammy? You are just as much mine as you were in my cage. You don’t really want that wall back do you?” Sam felt sick suddenly, and with one last glance at the grinning devil, he leapt from the shower and threw up in the toilet.  
~*~  


Dean noticed Sam was acting differently. He was eating less, sleeping less, and he almost always looked ashamed. Castiel had also not visited in a while, as he was on a constant hunt for Lucifer’s angel. With Sam silent and Cas gone, Dean was beginning to feel very alone. He occupied himself with tracking down Lucifer through Newspapers and the occasional internet sweep, but his search was fruitless. Eventually he got bored.  


“I’m going to go get a drink, wanna come?” Dean asked Sam.  


“Uh, no, you go ahead,” he forced a friendly smile. Dean just shook his head and left.  


“I thought he’d never leave,” Lucifer sighed.  


“Not now,”  


“Shut up, you don’t get to choose when I visit. My boss rarely doesn’t need me so I will come whenever I damn well please,” he growled. Sam jumped, realizing this was the real Lucifer. “Have you made any progress?”  


“Look, we are trying, but we have to find out who cast the spell first. Is there even a hint or a clue you could give us?”  


“I already told you, there is nothing I can say to help you. He’s clever, he made sure to make it impossible for me to give anything away. Besides, even if I did tell you, he’s a trickster, he would evade you easily. You wouldn’t be able to find him even if you knew,”  


“There has to be something…”  


“For the love of Odin, just drop it! Do your damn job and find who it is or your brain will continue to melt to the consistency of mashed potatoes,” he growled, his features twisting into a snarl.  


“And then you’ll be trapped under the thumb of an angel forever,” Sam countered, seeing the sarcasm and annoyance melt from Lucifer’s face. For a split moment, Sam could have sworn he saw the devil go pale.  


“Just, figure it out,” he muttered in a voice much softer than before. His eyes met Sam’s and the Winchester felt as though the world stopped. That gaze held things he had never before seen from Lucifer. There was exhaustion, fear, and stress. He looked downright miserable. What was this angel doing to him? Before he could ask, he was gone.  


A breath he hadn’t realized he was holding escaped his lips and he ran his fingers through his hair, a tick he’d developed when he was under stress.  


“That bastard, I should of known he’d sell me out,”  


Sam froze, eyes widening into large orbs as he recognized the voice. He didn’t dare turn around, afraid that it might all be a hallucination.  


“Oh Sammy, although you have a rather enjoyable ass I’d like to talk to your face,” the voice insisted playfully. With a gulp, he slowly turned around and felt his breath hitch in his throat when finally his eyes fell on the other presence in the room. If his heart had been beating fast before, it was practically humming now. He could feel his cheeks fill slightly with blood and he prayed the angel didn’t notice.  


“Gabriel,” he managed to breath. The archangel smiled, throwing his hands up in a dramatic display.  


“In the flesh!”  


“B-But, you’re dead. I watched him kill you,” he muttered.  


“Yeah, well, by now you should know that I don’t really die. I’m pretty damn good at faking it though, right? I’ve fooled you, what, twice now? When things didn’t go exactly as planned I sort of disappeared for a while, laid low. Things have been pretty messy,” he explained with a shrug, meandering towards the mini fridge in the corner of the room and rummaging through its contents until his face lit up with a satisfied smile. He pulled out a piece of raspberry pie and gleamed at it.  


“That’s Dean’s,” Sam protested when Gabriel took an enthusiastic bite. He raised an eyebrow as if to say “Like I care?”  


“Alright, fine, but why show your face now?” Sam wondered, brows knitted together.  


“Well, I didn’t see a point in hiding anymore seeing how my brother couldn’t keep his mouth shut,”  


When Sam’s confused expression didn’t change Gabriel couldn’t help but snort.  


“Oh come on, please tell you me you picked up on that. Seriously? I revealed myself for nothing? You’re that thickheaded? ‘He’s a trickster,’ ‘For the love of Odin,’…”  


Everything clicked.  


“Trickster, Odin, Norse Mythology, Loki,” he sighed, mentally kicking himself.  


“Ding ding, we have a winner. Wow Sam, remind me not to give you so much credit! Clearly you aren’t as smart as I thought. Oh well, at least you’re still pretty,” he winked. Sam felt his face flush and he cleared his throat awkwardly.  


“I… Uh, so why…”  


“Why did I free him?”  


“Yeah,”  


He had to wait until the shorter man finished the large mouthful of dessert before he got a response. “I could give you a long, sappy, boring explanation for that, but I think I’ll just stick with, ‘That’s for me to know, and for you not to care about,’ Don’t worry about it Sammy, he isn’t going to hurt anyone,”  


Sam sat down on the edge of a bed slowly, trying to find the right words for what he would say next. He carefully and slowly allowed each syllable to leave his lips.  


“I made a deal to help him break the binding spell,” he admitted aloud. Gabriel paused, a forkful of pie hovering an inch from his lips. He slowly placed in back in the plastic container he had taken it from and set it on a nearby table, as if he needed both hands for the upcoming conversation.  


“A deal?” He sounded suddenly very serious.  


“Yes,”  


“What are the details of said ‘deal’?” He asked.  


“Protection for my brother, my friends, he will hand over Crowley, and build a new wall in my head,” he didn’t know why, but his voice had dropped to a low volume, and he felt small despite the fact that he towered over Gabriel.  


The angel stood there silently for a while, nodding as if in deep thought. His expression was unreadable which only alarmed Sam more. Gabriel was normally fairly easy to read. He wore everything on his sleeve and he wasn’t exactly known for his ability to keep his mouth shut.  


“Right,” he finally said, “and in exchange you free him from his binding spell. Well, I hate to say it, you’re going to have to kill me then,”  


“What?”  


“You heard me. The only way for this specific spell to be broken is either I take it off, or I am killed. Since I am never going to take it off, you will just have to kill me,”  


“I’m not going to kill you I…” He stopped himself. He what? “I consider you a friend okay? I’m not going to hurt you for him,” he sighed.  


“Then you are just going to have to break the deal,” though his tone was still serious, a smile ghosted across his lips.  


“I don’t know if I can I mean, we made an official deal. Isn’t my soul sorta in danger if I break a contract with a demon?” He pointed out.  


Gabe snorted, “Yeah, if you made a deal with Crowley maybe, or a crossroads demon, but Lucifer doesn’t exactly dabble in the art of making deals. He just gets what he wants, whether that means lying and cheating or actually keeping to his word. He chooses which based on what mood he’s in. I wouldn’t trust a word he told you if I were you,”  


Sam felt all color drain from his cheeks. “Then… He… We didn’t need to… Seal it?” He cringed. Gabe’s brows knitted together at first, obviously not understanding a word coming out of the hunter’s mouth. After a moment of silence, however, his expression changed drastically. He went from simply serious to utterly enraged.  


“He kissed you,” it wasn’t a question.  


“Yeah, I mean, that’s how you’re supposed to confirm a contract right?”  


“Not with Lucifer, the bastard lied to you,”  


Sam couldn’t decide if his sweaty palms were due to the fact that he was inevitably attracted to Gabriel, always had been, or if he was suddenly deathly afraid of him. The look in his eyes sent shivers down his spine. He had never seen him look so hostile.  


“Hey, but I mean, he was probably just doing it to mess with me,”  


“It was only a kiss right?” It was supposed to be a question but seemed to come across as more of a demand.  


“Yes,” was all he said, his eyes dropping to the floor at the thought of everything else that had happened between them. There was no way he was going to bring that up though. Especially not with the archangel looking like he was ready for murder.  
“I need to have a chat with my brother. See you round Sammy,”


	4. Chapter 4

Gabriel appeared in front of his brother with a furious expression plastered across his attractive features. He grabbed him by the throat and slammed against the wall of the alley way they were standing in.

"I saved you, I brought you back, and this is how you repay me?"

"You know brother," Lucifer choked, "If you are going to get violent you should probably tell me what I did wrong first," his smile said he knew exactly what he did wrong.

"You kissed him? What else have you done with him?!" He demanded.

"Here on Earth? Just that," he winked. Gabriel took out his blade and held it against Lucifer's chest.

"What do you mean 'On Earth'?"

"I thought I was the one to get angry and do the threatening. Finally grow some balls?"

The angel pressed the tip of the blade into his flesh. Lucifer tried to mask his pain, but a small wince met his lips.

"Wanna try that again?"

"Ask Sam," was the only response he got. Despite how much he wanted to crush his neck, Gabriel released his grip, reminding himself that this was still his brother. True, he was an asshole and far from the sibling he had been before his banishment, he was family nonetheless and he had raised him for a reason.

"I get it, you don't have feelings for anyone, especially humans, but I swear to our father if you hurt him…"

"You'll put me back in my cage? That threat is getting a little old don't you think?" The devil crossed his arms over his chest.

"Leave him alone,"

"What if he doesn't want me to? What if he wants me around?" He asked with over-sweetness lacing his tone like thick syrup.

"He doesn't," he answered through clenched teeth.

"Isn't that for our dear Sammy to decide?"

"You don't get to play with him! He's not some damn toy! You may be my brother but believe it or not I actually care for that mortal and I will damn you back to that hole again if you hurt him. You're lucky I didn't kill you for what you did to his mind!"

"I did nothing but speed up what was already happening. Besides, you are starting to sound just like father did. Since when do humans mean more to you than your own family?"

"Since the humans never tried to kill me, or end the world, or damn souls to eternal pain," he listed off.

"If you think so highly of me, why did you take me from the pit huh? Why did you free me from my cage?" Lucifer demanded, joking aside.

"Because…" Gabriel trailed off, all anger suddenly leaving his tone, his body, his eyes, and he was back to the angel that Lucifer knew, "because you're my brother and I love you. Yeah, I know, pathetic but it's true. I thought if I took you out, kept you on a leash, and made you see the humans as actual living creatures and not insects for you to step on, maybe you'd reform. Obviously, I'm being stupid, but I guess I'm just a hopeful fool like that," he shrugged in defeat.

Lucifer paused. There were so many witty quips and jabs he could make, but instead he couldn't bring his lips to form any words. He stood there silent and stared at his brother. He was twisted, demented, a torturer, a liar, and a hellish being meant to only bring agony and horror, but he was not evil. Since the dawn of time he had been labeled as such, but truly he was resentful for having been banished and so his grace was stained with revenge lust and hatred. His bitter feelings had poisoned all that had been good in him, and that was when the devil was born.

Terrible, yes.

Evil, no.

Each word stabbed through him like a hot knife. Whether he would admit it to himself, he was grateful that Gabriel had freed him. Once Sam had gone he had been left with Michael and the two certainly had some issues. It didn't end well for either of them. Sure, he was stuck doing the stupid measly things like volunteering at an animal shelter and participating in a soup kitchens per request of Gabe, but anything was better than an eternity with his less amusing brother.

Deciding that he wasn't going to get an answer, Gabriel added, "But don't mistake my love for mercy. Sam is important to me, and just as easily as I took you out, I can put you back in,"

*Dean*

"Gabriel huh? Should have known that little bitch wasn't dead. He will never die," Dean shook his head, shoveling in a bite of blueberry pie.

"Yeah, well, he seems different. I can't really describe it, but normally he is all jokes and now… You didn't see his face, it was scary. Something's up," Sam sighed.

"I'm sure. Point is, what do we do now?"

"About the deal? I don't know. I mean, if we can figure out how to suppress my memories on our own, maybe get Gabriel to help, then there won't be a need to help him. He can't do anything to us either way, the deal wasn't official or anything,"

"But I thought you guys, you know," he made a smooching sound in the air before returning to his pie.

"Apparently," he shifted awkwardly, "only Crowley uses that method,"

"Then why did you two kiss?" Dean's brow furrowed, "something you need to tell me Sammy?"

"Geez Dean, no. He was probably just messing with me,"

"Yeah, maybe he has the hots for you," he teased. Sam tried to hide the sickening twisting in his stomach behind a chuckle and smile.

"Yeah, hey, I think I'm going to head back to the room, you coming?"

"Nah, I've go about two more pieces of pie with my name on them," he smiled, revealing a mouthful or half-chewed dessert.

"Gross," Sam shook his head. He walked out of the diner, leaving the eldest Winchester to devour his sweets in silence. He was about to call over the waitress for another slice, but instead of seeing the young blonde, he met the gaze of two piercing blue eyes.

"You might want to wear a bell or something, so you don't give me a heart attack. I could have choked,"

"Sorry Dean,"

"Is something wrong?" Dean wondered.

"No,"

"Did something good happen?"

"No, not really,"

"Then what's up?"

"I'm bored,"Cas said. Dean stared at him. He swallowed his bite and looked at the angel curiously.

"What do you mean you're bored?"

"I'm bored Dean. All I can do is sit here and wait for something to happen. Lucifer isn't a threat, the Leviathin are back in Purgatory, Crowley hasn't shown his face, and even Sam seems to be learning how to cope with his insanity. Heaven is peaceful, for once. I have nothing to do anymore," he sighed.

"Well, what do you usually do when the world isn't in chaos?"

"I used to do errands for God, saving a human, relocating angels, keeping Fate and Destiny in line. But God is silent," he shrugged. Castiel called over the blonde waitress that Dean had been admiring for the majority of the evening.

She approached them and instantly her eyes locked on the attractive angel, despite the fact that only a bit ago she hadn't been able to keep her eyes off the hunky hunter.

"Hey there, what can I get you?" She asked with a tone so sweet it practically dripped from her lips like syrup.

"A hamburger," was all he said, his eyes only leaving Dean for a moment to offer a polite smile. Dean, however, sat there both shocked and slightly disappointed that her attentions had shifted so suddenly. The waitress only seemed to take Cas's indifference as a challenge.

"Anything else I can get you?" Castiel was normally oblivious, but the double meaning behind her words was so obvious that an infant would have known. He turned to her with and apologetic expression.

"Oh, you are attracted to me," he said with a sigh, his bluntness shocking both parties, "I am sorry. Technically I have no sexuality, but I do find that as far as humans go, the males are more attractive. Do not get me wrong, you are a very beautiful young lady. Do not take offense to anything I am saying, it's nothing against you, really, but you are wasting your efforts. I am sure my friend, Dean, here, would gladly receive your affections should you wish to give them,"

For a minute, everyone was silent. The waitress blushed and seemed utterly flustered. She gave an embarrassed smile and shuffled off. Cas was oblivious to the awkward atmosphere he had created.

"Uh, Cas," Dean finally cleared his throat. He stared at the angel, unable to determine what it was exactly that he was feeling in that moment. He felt… Confused. Shocked even. Part of him wanted to laugh; the other couldn't even muster up a smile.

"Wh-what was that?" He asked.

"What?"

"What just happened? Since when are you gay?"

"Dean, I already explained this. I do not have an actual gender. My vessel is male therefore I understand how you associate me with being a male. However, my lack of gender makes it impossible for me to actually have a sexuality. I simply like whomever I like," he shrugged.

"Well, what about Meg? Don't think I forgot about your whole pizza boy impersonation,"

"I like her, her gender is irrelevant. I find, though, that men tend to be more appealing to me,"

"Men like?" Dean gestured for him to elaborate.

"Well, you for instance," for once, Castiel seemed a little shy. Dean was left speechless for the second time that night. Pie forgotten, he just sat there and stared. His mouth opened and shut a few times, as if he meant to say something but couldn't form the words. "I've made you uncomfortable, I'm sorry,"

"No, just took me a little off guard," Dean finally managed to say with as casual of a smile as he could manage. Inside, a few million thoughts swirled around in his mind. His focus was primarily on the pressure he suddenly felt on his chest, a pressure he hadn't felt in a long time. "Well, I mean, as long as it's just that. I suppose, if I liked dudes, I'd think I was pretty hot too," he joked. Cas allowed his gaze to drop.

"It's okay Dean, I never expected you to reciprocate the feelings,"

"Whoa, whoa, hey, you didn't say 'feelings' Cas. I get that you angels can get hot over whoever you want, hey I'm cool with all that stuff. I've been around enough, seen enough shit that people's sexuality is the last of my concerns. So hey, you wanna think I'm hot? I'm all for it. But you didn't say 'feelings' before and that's not something I take lightly, okay?" Dean said seriously. He had only truly had feelings for one person, and that was Lisa. He had loved her more than anyone, and then he had to give her up. She was gone. He never wanted to feel that pain again and he certainly did not want Cas to have to experience it. He especially didn't want Cas to be hurt by him.

"I'm sorry I brought it up,"

"No, hold on, do you have feelings for me? Or is this just a crush?" He questioned. Cas tilted his head, confused.

"What's the difference?"

"It means either way you want to bang me, but if you have feelings you'd wanna stick around in the morning,"

"Then… I suppose I have feelings," he shrugged, still seemingly a little lost. Dean didn't understand how he could say these things so casually. He could feel his palms begin to dampen with sweat and his heart was already racing uncomfortably in his chest. He didn't know the name of the feeling he was experiencing, but he wanted it to stop.

"Uh, wow, okay, how long have you felt this way?" He raised his brows.

"Shortly after pulling you from Hell,"

"And you never thought to tell me?"

"As I said, I never expected you to return the feelings so what would be the point? Aside from creating an awkward relationship, as I'm sure I've done now,"

"Don't you think I'd want to know something like that?"

"I don't know, Dean, do you?" Castiel met Dean's gaze, eyes wide and piercing. For a moment, Dean was rendered speechless, always caught off guard by those eyes. He thought a moment.

Did he want to know?

Of course he did. Despite what would now be an awkward relationship, he always wanted to know what Castiel was thinking and feeling. His entire life had been one of secrets and hidden feelings. The fact that Cas was always so blunt and open about everything was entirely refreshing and Dean appreciated it. Besides, a small part of him couldn't help but be warmed by his words.

"Yeah," he finally said, "yeah I do. Don't keep things from me, no matter how weird or how awkward you think it will make things. Last time you kept secrets, you teamed up with Crowley and became God. I can't handle anymore secrets. Not from Sammy, and not from you,"

"I'm sorry Dean," he apologized sincerely. Before another word could be uttered, the waitress returned with his burger. Castiel's blue eyes lit up with enthusiasm as the giant patty of dead cow was placed before him, crispy, golden fries steaming next to it. Burgers to Cas were the equivalent of pie to Dean. The hunter stared at the angel with amusement and he shoved the oversized sandwich into his mouth. The normally graceful angel was messily covered in grease and ketchup and he didn't seem to care whatsoever.

"Uh Cas," Dean wiped his own lip, nodding at him to do the same. His brow furrowed.

"There's nothing on your face, Dean,"

"No… You… Nevermind just hold still," he rolled his eyes, leaning across the table and brushing his thumb at the corner of Castiel's mouth, wiping away a small glob of ketchup.

Dean didn't think much of it at first, but after a few seconds of being stared at he realized that was perhaps not the best thing to have done after being told that his best friend liked him.

"Er… Thanks," Cas blushed slightly. He traded his burger for a few fries which he chewed slowly, his eyes falling to his plate.

"What are friends for?" Dean smiled, trying to remain casual. After all, he had cleaned his face, not kissed him. What was the big deal?

"Where are you staying tonight?" Cas suddenly asked.

"Huh? Oh, just a motel a few miles down the road,"

"Can I stay with you and Sam for a while?"

"Uh…" Dean shifted in his seat, "I guess. I mean, why?"

"I have nothing to do, nowhere to really go. Heaven may be peaceful but that does not mean everyone accepts me. I killed a lot of angels," he replied solemnly.

"Do you think it would be a good idea to have you around? Sam is still pretty messed up,"

"I should be there for him, then. His condition is my fault, I should be with him always until I have figured out how to help him," he said sternly.

"Alright, well, Sammy should be back at the hotel soon so whenever you're ready to leave…" he sighed.

"What do you mean? He isn't there now?"

"Nah, he started walking home about five seconds before you showed up,"

Castiel's eyes snapped to Dean, piercing him with sudden alarm.

"Your brother suffers from severe hallucinations, twisting reality, and you let him walk alone in the dark?" His voice dropped to a low gravely, murmur.

"He's an adult, Cas, and a hunter. He can take care of himself. He hates when I baby him and besides, if he needed help, he'd call me," he waved his phone in the air.

"We should get back," he said despite Dean's words. He stood up, plate in hand, and began to walk towards the door. Dean bolted afterwards, catching him by the collar of his coat and pulling him back.

"Jesus Cas, you can't just…" he sighed, calling over a waitress and asking for a box along with a check. Once the burger was safely confined in the cardboard walls of the box, and being clutched to the angel's chest, they were able to leave.

Castiel reached the Impala first, tugging on the door handle of the passenger side. When it didn't open his head tilted to the side with confusion.

"It's locked," Dean rolled his eyes. He reached for his keys but by the time they were in his hand, Cas had already poofed himself inside. Dean made a mental note to angel-proof his car next chance he got.

When the engine started, so did the radio.

"Cary on my wayward son, there'll be peace when you are done! Leave your weary head to rest, and don't you cry no more," Cas began to sing, surprisingly loudly. Dean's eyebrows practically shot straight off his face as he watched the angel begin to tap his fingers against his knees to the beat, singing along.

"Since when do you know Kansas?" Dean wondered, pulling out of the diner's parking lot and onto the road.

"I've been watching you for a long time," he explained, and then quickly added, "you and Sam,"

"So you just know all of my music now?"

"Some of it, only the stuff I like, though you do tend to play the same bands over and over. I know nearly every word to every song. That's not always a good thing," he noted

Dean couldn't help but chuckle at this. He didn't answer but instead stole another glance at his friend who was happily bobbing his head along to the song. For some reason the sight made his chest hurt, but not unpleasantly. There was something about seeing this angel enjoying something he was so passionate about, something oddly important to him. Sam liked the classic rock, sure, but he also was annoyed by how often it was on and obviously wished his brother would change it once in a while.

Castiel, however, was tapping his leg, singing along, to Dean's favorite song nonetheless. He looked so relaxed and happy, there was even a small crooked smile on his face. The Winchester couldn't explain exactly what he felt in that moment, what he felt for Cas…


	5. Chapter 5

He was in the cage. Sam could feel invisible flames licking his skin. It burned and seared him. He swore he could smell his own flesh melting from his bones. He screamed and fell to his knees, curling up to protect himself. His eyes darted around, searching through the dark abyss and finding no sign of his tormentor. Despite his pain he felt relief.

"Don't think you're safe, Sammy," someone whispered in his ear. He whipped around.

Michael.

He stood above him, seeming impossibly larger, taller, and angrier. His face was twisted in an insidious snarl.

"I feel like you're forgetting me, Sam, and I won't allow that. You don't get to forget. I'll make sure you never forget. Even if I have to carve in into your skin," he smiled. As he said this, Sam felt a sharp pain in his arm. He watched in horror as something invisible carve through his flesh. First an M, then and I… He couldn't seem to stop it. He was frozen.

*L*

Lucifer was free for the moment. Gabriel seemed preoccupied with something, leaving him to visit his favorite little hunter. It didn't take long for him to sense and pinpoint the younger Winchester's location. He wasn't sure he expected when he appeared on the side of the highway, but it wasn't that.

Sam was curled up on the side of the highway, screaming in pain. In his hand was a sharp knife, the point of which was dragging deeply into his arm. The cuts distinctly formed:

"M.I.C.H.A…"

"Michael," Lucifer murmured to himself. Sam was severely hallucinating. He had known that they were bad, but he'd honestly never expected to see him like this.

He was the devil, the model of pure evil, even Lucifer had managed to convince himself of that. Yet, in that shocking moment, it all melted away and he suddenly felt like the angel he had once been. Concern ran cold in his veins and before he could process what was happening, he was by his side. He tore the blade from Sam's grasp and threw it to the side. He held the hunter's face between his hands and tried to catch his frantic gaze.

"Sammy, it's not real, Sammy," he said in a low, surprisingly soft voice. "Michael isn't here, he can't hurt you. Hey, Sam, come on look at me. I'm real, okay? Look at me," he lightly tapped Sam's cheek. He felt relieved when Sam's eyes met his and he knew that Sam was actually seeing him. Before he could say another word, the young hunter was clinging to him, his bload soaking through Lucifer's flannel. The devil didn't move, frozen by Sam's reaction.

No one had hugged him in nearly three-hundred thousand years. Granted, he and Sam had had… encounters, those had been different. There had been no kindness, just lust and desperation and even cruelty. Sam was trying to hold back his tears and so his sobs came out choked and spluttered. Not knowing what else to do, he simply held him. After all, no one was there to see this moment of weakness on both their parts and so he gave in.

*Meanwhile*

"I'm on a highway to hell!" Both men sang, rocking out in the Impala. Dean stole an occasional glance of the angel, smiling widely at the sight of the usually reserved angel enjoying himself. As always, Cas's smile warmed him and for moment he forgot. He forgot about the Leviathin, Sam's messed up head, and even his own demons. This relief was short lived as Castiel grew pale and his smile vanished.

"Dean…" He trailed off in that gravelly voice. Dean followed his gaze to see two figured huddled on the road. He squinted into the darkness and noticed on had long, shaggy, brown hair.

"Sammy," he breathed. Without any other warning lurched the car sideways onto the side of the road. The headlights of the Impala illuminated Sam and…

Lucifer.

It was then that he noticed the blood. He couldn't see where it was coming from, but it didn't matter. Alarm rang through his body and a rush of adrenaline sent him into a frenzy. He grabbed the shotgun from the backseat of the car and bolted outside, already aiming at the devil.

"Get the fuck away from him!" He roared.

Lucifer eyed him wearily. He pushed Sam away and held out his arms. "Go ahead Dean, if it would make you feel better, get it out," he smiled humorlessly. Dean thought about it for a minute before his eyes flickered to his brother. That's when he saw where the blood was coming from. Sam was bleeding all over the pavement.

"Get out of my way," he snarled at the devil, dropping to his knees at his brother's side.

"As you wish. Hey! Castiel! Last time I saw you I made you into ground beef! Gabe told me you became God. Sounds like you've been busier than me," he winked. Castiel couldn't even look angry, instead he looked down at his feet.

"One more word and I swear to God I'll blow you're damn head off," Dean warned venomously before turning back to Sam. "He Sammy, what happened, what did he do to you?" He murmured.

"Nothing," he answered shakily, "he… He stopped me," Dean followed his gaze down to his injured arm and saw that these weren't just cuts, they were letters messily carved into his skin.

"Michael?"

"I… It felt so real. I didn't realize I was doing it to myself,"

"You did this to yourself?"

"He stopped me," Sam nodded at Lucfer, who now had a stony expression on his face and his arms crossed against his chest.

"You guys are supposed to be helping me," he muttered. "Not the other way around. See you soon Sammy," and then he was gone, leaving the three alone.

"Let me," Cas stepped forward, reaching for Sam. The younger Winchester flinched away from the contact, cradling his arm protectively. The bleeding had slowed and Dean could tell that he would be fine, just have some nasty scars.

"Leave him," Dean shook his head. He could tell that his brother was not ready to be comforted or healed. Despite his calm breathing and lack of tears he still looked utterly terrified of everything. That was it. He couldn't sit and watch the one person he'd always fought so hard to protect deteriorate before his eyes. He was desperate. There was one person he knew could help and he didn't give a shit if he had to hunt him down and bind him. It was time he and Cas paid Death a little visit.

*L*

Lucifer stood atop a skyscraper somewhere in New York. Despite the cool air, he felt nothing. No warmth, no chill, he just was. He felt numb.

He gritted his teeth at the thought of what had happened. It was as if seeing Sam in that state, seeing that blood, had been the chisel against his stoned heart. He had felt concern, worry, and panic. It scared him to feel anything but hate.

He sat down and allowed his feet to dangle over the edge. He watched the streaks of light below. The cars filled the air with the sounds of road rage and impatience and the smell of exhaust. Lucifer couldn't help but chuckle dryly.

They all were oblivious. Their biggest concerns were how much they hated their jobs and making sure their kids homework gets done before bed. If only they knew the devil sat above them, watching with amused eyes.

A soft sigh escaped his lips as he moved his gaze to the moon. All he could think about was that stupid human. He was just as much a rat as the rest of them, yet he felt drawn to him. He felt warm…

"There you are," a voice broke his deep thought.

"Gabe" he acknowledged without turning.

"What happened?"

"What do you mean?"

Gabriel plopped down beside him.

"I mean Sam. I went looking for you and… well you know what I found don't you?"

"I didn't do it," he growled.

"I know that. You couldn't hurt him even if you wanted to," he reminded him. "What I want to know is why you two were all over each other on the side of the highway," his tone suggested agitation. Lucifer rolled his eyes.

"Does everyone jump to conclusions? We weren't cuddling you moron," he said each word with utter distaste. "I was helping him,"

"Right," the archangel snorted.

"I don't care what you belief, brother. You know if you care about Sam so damn much why don't you fix him?"

"I can't,"

"You can pull me from the cage no problem but you can't fix his fucking head?" He hadn't realized that he had begun to yell and he knew that Gabe could hear the truth behind his tone. He wasn't angry, he was desperate.

"I don't know if it's possible for anyone to fix him," he admitted. "If you are so passionate about him, why don't you talk to Death?"

"Why don't you?"

For the first time that night, Gabriel smirked. "He and I aren't on speaking terms."

"He gave the boys the ring to entrap me. Do you think I'll have any more luck?" He pointed out. Gabriel shrugged.

"So…" he finally sighed. "If you weren't snuggling up to Sammy, then what happened? You don't normally just to someone's aid unless it's to help them up and then kick them down again,"

Once again, Lucifer felt some sort of warmth in his chest, like the sun thawing away the spring frost. He couldn't explain the feeling, he couldn't remember ever having felt it. Instead of answering, he simply stood and put some distance between himself and his brother.

"Could it be that you might actually have feelings? That this isn't a game anymore?" Gabe suggested light-heartedly. Lucifer snarled.

"Of course not,"

"You aren't a demon, you know. You may belong to the dark-side of the force but you are still an angel,"

"I have no wings, my grace is about as pure as your behavior, and I live in a pit of fire. Angel or not I'm nothing like you."

"You chose this," Gabriel reminded him, finally standing and facing him. Lucifer felt fury begin to course through his veins.

"I chose this?" He suddenly screamed. "Our father did this to me! He ripped me from heaven! He tore off my wings! He banished me to eternal pain and torture! All the while my 'brothers' stood by and watched Michael carry out the punishment. Not one of you so much as blinked in acknowledgement. And what was my crime? I dared to ask questions! I dared to ask why precious daddy," he spat, "got to sit on the throne and decide how our lives were to be run. We weren't even his children in his eyes. We were just soldiers to utilize however he pleased. I could see deep down how miserable everyone was, even those who dared not to even think for themselves.

"So I asked questions. I challenged his authority. I asked why these mortals were more important to him than his own children. When he had no answer, he punished me.

"I didn't choose this Gabriel. He, you, everyone, created me!" Every word was like a slap to Gabriel's face.

Gabriel felt guilty. Everything was true. To many, Castiel had become a hero for doing the exact same thing Lucifer had done. Lucifer had been put in Hell for it. It wasn't exactly fair, but Gabriel also felt something else. He smoother his features over and appeared perfectly calm.

"So this was the answer then?" He raised a brow. "You thought that the best way to stick it to the man was to become evil and torture mortals?"

"You don't know what I went through. I made the best with that I was given. I spent thousands of years trying to resist my hatred, but I'm not perfect."

"No, but you still had a choice. You eventually learned how to escape Hell, and instead of doing something worthwhile you went out and spread your terror. It's no secret that father hasn't exactly been there, you could have come home. Instead you went right back down to Hell, dragging souls with you."

When Lucifer didn't answer, Gabriel sighed.

"I can't change what you did, neither can you, but you can change what you will do. I released you because I love you and you have more potential than Michael. He is farther gone than you are. Besides," he added with a smirk, "you're more fun,"

"Just a bit ago you were threatening to throw me back if I so much as blinked an eye at Sam and now you want to reform me?" Sarcasm flowed thickly from his tongue. Gabe was unfazed.

"Yes, Sammy, what to do about that," he tapped his index finger against his lips.

"What do you mean?"

"Look, I won't lie. To me, Sam is six feet of pure sexy and as absolutely shocking as it might sound, I care about him. I threatened you because I thought you were just screwing around, trying to play with him. Now that I know that isn't the case…"

"I don't care about him," he denied with very little conviction. Gabriel gave a crooked, skeptical smile.

"Right. You've always been a bit of an ass, but you were never a good liar, especially when it came to me,"

"I don't li-"

"Deny it all you want but I know it's true. You're… Well you're you! You don't waste your time with anyone, especially humans, unless it benefits you. I fail to see how stopping Sam from getting some nasty scars benefits you in any way. You know, it's okay to feel. It won't kill you,"

"Even if I did, if wouldn't matter. You've staked your claim."

"I can't choose who Sammy wants. I will protect him but I can't choose," he admitted, almost sounding defeated.

"I don't want to have this conversation," he shook his head. Gabe meant to add more but his brother disappeared. While Lucifer couldn't really run from him, he decided to give him some space for now. Besides, he had intended to visit Sam. He hadn't allowed anyone to get near him when he'd initially shown up. Hopefully he would be a bit calmer this time.

He zapped himself into the shitty little motel where he found Sam sitting at a table, carefully cleaning his self-made wounds. His face was fixed in a wince as he poured a shots worth of vodka on the injury and then another into his mouth. As he set down the bottle his eyes fell on Gabe and the angel swore his heart skipped a beat. He looked embarrassed and God damn, it was a adorable

"Hey Moose, where's your brother?" He asked, eyes scanning the room and noticing the eldest Winchester was nowhere to be seen.

"He's with Cas, trying to find Death," was his response.

"Death? What do they want with him?" He wrinkled his nose, plopping down in the chair next to Sam. He suspected the answer but he hoped small talk would make Sam comfortable enough for his next move. "Here," he held out his hand, gesturing towards his arm. After a moment of hesitation he held out his arm. Gabe was glad to see he had calmed down.

He took Sam's hand, trying to ignore the way his heart sped at the feel of the hunter's warm skin, and pressed his fingers into his palm. Suddenly the letters were gone. However, he was not left unscathed. Gabriel had left a vibrant pink scar on his arm.

"Why?" Sam thumbed over the raised flesh.

"Battle scars are sexy," he winked. Sam snorted.

"I wouldn't call it a battle scar,"

"You survived hell, with my brothers, that's a war large enough to deserve a scar,"

Gabe felt satisfied with the amount of blood that filled Sam's face. A smirked threatened his lips at that.

"Er…Thanks,"

Both men sat like that for a while, just staring at each other. Neither realized that Gabe was still holding Sam's hand until the hunter cleared his throat. The angel reluctantly released him and tried to sound casual.

"So… Death?" He reminded him.

"Oh, yeah, Dean is going to try to convince him to put another wall in my head. I don't know, I don't think it'll help. They're better off sticking me into a mental ward," he joked, yet there was a serious sadness in his tone.

"That didn't end so well last time," Gabe smiled, teasingly. When Sam's brow furrowed in confusion he added, "You and Dean took on a case in a mental ward. Went pretty bad."

"We solved the case and saved their lives," he pointed out.

"Didn't they dope you up with drugs?" Gabe had watched the whole thing from Heaven back when he had been the Trickster, back when torturing Sam hadn't seemed like such a terrible idea.

"Uh yeah, I guess they did," he chuckled, obviously trying to remember. "Wow, that was a while ago,"

"Your hair was shorter,"

"Yeah, I miss that sometimes. I need to get a haircut…" he mused more to himself than to the angel in front of him.

"Don't you dare! If you do I'll just make it grow back," he warned. Despite his smile the threat was real.

"You can do that?"

"I made every day Tuesday for like three months, you don't think I could make your hair grow back?" He raised a brow.

"Why would you?"

"I like your hair," he admitted. Again, Sam's face flushed red and he gave a smile that held more than friendliness. Gabe wanted to grab him right there, to touch that soft hair and kiss those lips.

"Hey… So, what's up with Lucifer?" Sam asked, trying to change the subject. The angel felt his own smile falter. He didn't up though. He wouldn't give up his hunter without a fight.

"What about him?" He grabbed the vodka and took a swig. He knew he wouldn't get drunk, that was a difficult feat, but he liked the way it warmed his stomach and burned his throat.

"He's been acting strange, I guess. I'm used to him being… Well and asshole. Now he seems almost, human? I mean, my hallucinations are scarier than him," he shrugged.

"Dr. Phil, I'm telling you, that man is a genius. Fixed him right up," He winked. Sam smiled but still waited for the real answer. "Look, Moose, you gotta understand that he isn't evil. He kinda went off the deep end when God commanded Michael to kick him out of the clouds and into Hell."

"So, what? He's still good?"

"I didn't say that, but he isn't evil. He's on the mend, I think. It might help that God is MIA, Michael is burning in Hell all alone, and I've been forcing him to interact with humans. So maybe he will go back to how he was. Might take a few hundred, maybe thousand, years."

Gabe watched a glimmer of disappointment in Sam's eyes.

"It's too bad," he shrugged, taking another large gulp of vodka.

"What is?"

"That it will take so long, it'd be nice to not have to be afraid of him. Especially since he's always around," again the alcohol met his lips. Gabe noticed him wince from the burn.

"Slow down there tiger, you're gonna get drunk and I'll have to take advantage of you," he teased.

"Right," he snorted.

"You trust me too much, hunter. You really shouldn't,"

"You're as harmless as a kitten," Sam laughed, his words slowed by the vodka in his system.

"Have you seen the claws on those things?" He didn't bother to point out that in the past he had proven himself far from harmless. Sam laughed again, a laugh filled with drunk induced happiness. When he finally calmed down he simply stared at Gabe, his eyes tracing every line of the angel's face. Slowly but surely it became more obvious how drunk he really was. His eyes were glazing over and his lips were fixed in a lazy smile. It only got worse as he swallowed a few more mouthfuls of vodka.

"How much have you had?" Gabe wondered.

"Couple of beers, some of this," he wiggle the clear bottle in the air, a little over half already gone.

"Shit Sam," he huffed.

"What? People get drunk all the time, I'm allowed. I've had a stressful week… year… life," he sighed. The shorter man rolled his eyes. He'd seen the Winchester brothers drunk. They both tended to be rowdy, out-spoken, and at times, downright crazy.

"I'm not going to heal your hangover in the morning," he warned.

"Are you implying that you'll be here tomorrow morning?" He raised an almost suggestive brow. For once, it was the angel's turn to blush bright red. He wasn't usually the one caught off guard, especially by reserved little Sam. Of course, he knew it was the drink talking, but nonetheless he felt a tug in his stomach.

"Is Gabriel speechless? That's new," the way he said his name didn't help. He tried to remind himself that taking advantage of a drunk, half-crazy human wasn't exactly an angelic thing to do. In fact, it was down-right wrong. Yes, the way Sam was looking at him, well, it wasn't fair.

"Maybe I should go," he coughed. Sam frowned, his eyes widening into large brown orbs. Puppy eyes.

"You're going to leave me to drink alone?"

"Well, I certainly can't drink with you,"

"Why not?"

"It'd be a waste. I can't get drunk very easily. Alcohol does very little to me," he shrugged.

"I've seen Cas drunk…"

"He wasn't lying when he said he drank a liquor store,"

"Then just stay with me," he demanded.

"Jeez Sam, you sound like a small child when you are drunk,"

"Thanks," he rolled his eyes. He started to take another drink. Gabe smirked and snapped his fingers. Suddenly, Sam was spluttering and spitting out his mouthful.

"What the?" His brow furrowed, eying the bottle as if it had betrayed him. His eyes flickered to Gabe who was trying very hard not to laugh. "Did you turn this into water?"

He couldn't hold it back any longer. He burst out into a fit of laughter tears threatening to sting his eyes. "You've had enough anyway," he finally said once his episode had subsided.

"Well, now I'll be bored. Now you have to stay,"

"I suppose I could hang around, make sure you don't hurt yourself," in reality, though, he just didn't want to leave. He was content with just looking at him.

Sam obviously hadn't taken the time to brush his hair, as it was messy, disheveled, and cute. He had changed his bloodied white T-shirt to a light blue one that complimented his torso in all the right ways. He hadn't shaved much either so there was a decent amount of stubble shadowing his cheeks and chin. Overall: Perfect.

The hunter offered a satisfied smile and held out the bottle.

"Its water remember?" He snorted.

"You can change it back. Hell, you could refill it if you wanted,"

Gabriel couldn't argue. It was true. He took the bottle and, ignoring the burn, started to chug. As an angel, it really did take a lot to even give him a buzz. Even after half a bottle all he really felt was the raw burning in his throat which quickly went away. Sam was right though, he could refill it, except this time he filled it with spiced rum, something he'd at least enjoy drinking.

An hour and four bottles later, one having been tequila, Gabriel was starting to feel that change. He felt warm, hazy, and comfortable.

"Dude you're hammered!" Sam laughed loudly, clapping his hands. Gabe couldn't stop his own laughter from joining Sam's. He wasn't exactly hammered but he was tipsy enough that he didn't doubt that his mouth would start running soon.

"You aren't doing so well yourself," he pointed out with a smile before taking four large gulps of a newly refilled fifth bottle.

"I'm doing better than well, I feel fantastic. Guess what? No Halucifer!"

"Halucifer?"

"It's what I call my hallucination. It's too confusing having them both around all the time."

He was creative, Gabe would give him that.

"So he goes away when you get drunk?"

Sam nodded. Gabriel wondered if he should ask how often he did this and point out how unhealthy it was. However, he couldn't bring himself to do it. Sam looked too… Sane.

Another hour and three bottles later…

"Truth?" Gabe shrugged, still not quite grasping the point of this silly game. Sam on the other hand appeared to be in hysterics.

"Alright, alright. Uh… Okay! Have you ever actually had sex? Like, with soeone other than one of your porn girl creations?"

Gabriel blushed slightly at the mention of his intimate life, the real one.

"Yes, a few times,"

"How many times?"

Instead of answering with his voice he held up four fingers.

"With who?"

"Forgive me if I'm wrong, but don't you only get one question?"

Sam frowned with frustration. "Fine, your turn."

"Alright, truth or dare?"

"Truth,"

"How many partners have you had?"

This time is was Sam's turn to get sheepish. He looked incredibly embarrassed.

"Uh, I don't know," he admitted.

"Estimate?"

"Probably somewhere near twenty?"

Gabe raised a brow at that.

"Twenty?"

"Well whenever Dean was gone, like when he went to Hell, I found my way of coping," he shrugged. "Moving on! Next question. So who have you been with?"

"I didn't say truth,"

"So you choose dare?" a mischievous grin crossed his face.

"Sure," after all, Sam was drunk, what was the worst he could do?

"Call Dean and make the loudest, most realistic sex noises you can,"

Gabe, with a completely serious face, grabbed Sam's phone which had been sitting on the table between them, and speed-dialed the eldest Winchester. Sam tried to stifle his amused giggles as he heard Dean pick up only a few seconds later.

"Yeah? Sammy?"

Gabe began to breathe heavily.

"Sam? You okay?"

The moaning started off soft, barely audible, but Sam could hear nonetheless. Then, slowly, they got progressively louder. Gabe closed his eyes so he could keep himself from laughing as Sam's of desperately silent laughter. His hands were clasped tightly against his mouth and his entire body was shaking.

With Sam no longer visible to distract him, Gabe decided to put on a real show. He got louder, more desperate. With each sound his face portrayed more and more pleasure.

Sam watched and found that his laughter had faded away. He couldn't take his eyes off of Gabe's face. His every moan, whine, and grunt sounded so real. Even his raspy breaths had Sam shivering.

"Who the fuck… Sammy are you drunk?" Dean demanded. That apparently broke Gabe's concentration because he quickly hung up before bursting into laughter.

"Holy hell, he thinks it was you! How awkward would it be if that turned him on?" He shook with laughter. Sam managed a chuckle but he still felt…

"Sammy?" Gabe suddenly sounded a bit serious. "Your face is flushed."

He could feel himself blush harder at that. Gabe watched and wondered whether it was the phone call or the alcohol that made him turn so red. When his eyes met Sam's he found his answer.

"Truth or Dare," he managed to say with enough smoothness not to be noticed.

"Truth," Sam said softly.

Gabe thought for a moment. He had a question in mind, but dare he ask? The intoxicated haze in his mind said yes.

"Who do you like more, myself of Lucifer?"

Sam practically choked on the beer he had just tried to swallow.

"What?"

"Who do you like more?"

"What do you mean?"

"What do you think I mean?"

"Well, I… I mean… He's Lucifer…" He mumbled nervously.

"That doesn't answer the question, Sammy," Gabe pointed out, realizing how uncomfortable he had made him but realizing it was too late to take it back now.

"What do you mean by 'like'?" He asked again. Maybe it was the alcohol that loosened his jaw enough to say what he said next, he would certainly blame the vodka later.

"What I mean is who would you rather fuck?"

Sam's jaw dropped and his faze went bright red. He let out a small sound that almost sounded like a choke. Gabriel looked composed and amused but in reality he was anxious.

"Tick tock Sammy,"

"I'm not going to answer that,"

"But then you are breaking the rules. It's a simple question,"

No it wasn't.

"I don't care who you choose."

Yes he did.

"You're… Well you're you! You're an archangel. He's Lucifer, the devil, you can't expect me to…"

"I know who and what we are. I'm not asking your religion or who you should like, or the logical choice. I'm asking, very simply, who you like more."

"I can't answer," he sighed.

"You can't break the rules,"

"Gabe, that's my answer. It's not that I won't answer, I can't answer. I don't have one,"

"But you do like both of us don't you?" Gabriel's voice dropped.

"Yeah," he bowed his head with embarrassment.

"Well, why?"

"Why what?"

"Why do you like us? Rather, what do you like about us? That way I know what to do to make you like me more," he smirked. Sam didn't relax.

"You're funny," he began sheepishly. "And kind, and despite your whole 'I don't give a shit' attitude, you are caring. You are… Well attractive,"

Gabe tried not to blush but failed.

"You're exciting and unpredictable and…"

"Alright," Gabe laughed, almost embarrassedly. "I know I'm amazing. Why do you like Lucy?"

"Yeah… He suddenly got much quitter. "He's different."

"Sammy that isn't exactly…"

"Descriptive I know. I don't know what to say. He is… Changing. He showed me kindness and that's new for him. He is showing that he has this inner goodness. He's very intelligent, and dangerous, but inside he's like a puppy, and he only shows that side once in a while and to very few people. You know when he does that you're special.

"It doesn't hurt that he is attractive. I don't know it it's just a weird sort of crush or if I really like him. I can't even tell if what I feel is real or if it's just left over insanity from what we did in the cage," Sam explained, then his eyes widened. Before he could amend what he said, Gabe cut in.

"What do you mean 'what we did in the cage'?" He narrowed his eyes.

"Nothing," he said too quickly.

"Sam…"

"It doesn't matter, he's different now so…"

"Sam! What did he do!" Gabe yelled.

"He… We.. At first I fought it but… There was always so much pain. I didn't want to feel any more pain," he trailed off, his voice cracking slightly. He quickly chugged down the rest of his beer and grabbed the barely touched bottle of liquor in front of Gabe. The angel made no move to stop him.

"What are you saying? That you two.. He, you know, raped you? And then you decided to bang him? You two have had sex?" He demanded.

Sam's silence and extra consumption of alcohol was the only confirmation he needed. Sam waited for Gabriel to scream. He didn't. Instead, his tone became incredibly soft and full of pity.

"So your pleasure only existed because of pain. He took advantage of you," he sighed. Sam gazed at the angel with confusion.

"You aren't angry?"

"I'm furious. But I'm also sad for you. I didn't know you went through that in the cage. How many times did he… Before you consented?"

"I don't know, a few dozen, maybe more. I didn't exactly count." He admitteded.

"Oh jeez, Sammy," he shook his head. Suddenly there was a flutter like wings, and he was gone. Sam thought he had simply left, but then he was standing behind him. He knew he was there by the whisper of his breathing. Before Sam could turn to face him, he felt a warm breath on his neck. Hands gently smoothed his long brown hair aside.

Hands were replaced by something warm, soft, it was his lips. Sam's lips parted and his breath came out in smooth, heavy gasps.

"Gabe, what are you doing?" He murmured.

"Something my brother never could. I'm going to make you feel good without any pain, show you what you were missing," he muttered, lips brushing along Sam's throat, sucking ever so gently.

"Bu- Why?"

"I like you Sam, always have. I've been waiting for a long time and now I have my chance. Just relax," he came around to face the young Winchester and found his eyes bright and burning and his cheeks filled with an aroused flush. He drank in the sight enjoying each wonderfully perfect feature. Finally his eyes rested on those beautiful lips. He had imagined kissing them a million times.

He climbed onto his lap, straddling him, and dipped his head low to nibble on his chin where that small amount of stubble scratched him. He found it incredibly sexy.

His kisses traveled upward until he was just barely brushed the corner of his mouth. Sam was impatient and before Gabe could comprehend what was happening, his lips were smothered by Sam's. Just as he had expected, they were smooth, soft, and warm. His kisses were slow and held the sloppiness of a drunk, but he still managed to make the angel melt. Gabriel caressed a finger against the stubble of the hunter's chin, trailing it along the contours of his jaw, and then finally down his neck. Sam shivered at his touch.

The angel tangled his fingers in that messy brown hair and pulled him closer. Sam's own arms were wrapped around his smaller frame, his hands pressing the small of his back.

Gabe's tongue pushed against Sam's lips, who granted him entrance. Their tongues pushed for dominance and despite Sam's strength and passion, Gabe won. He continued to explore the Winchester's mouth while beginning to tug at Sam's shirt. He immediately understood, pulling away for just long enough to yank off his shirt and toss it on the floor.

Oh, Gabriel had always found Sam to be beautiful, but the sight of him shirtless was beyond arousing. His hands roamed appreciatively over his bare torso. He could feel his muscles tense beneath smooth skin. Those arms, his chest, each hardened ab… Sam moaned when smaller, warm hands met the sensitive flesh of his stomach. He blushed, knowing Gabriel could feel his erection.

"You are perfect," the angel sighed, grinding his hips against the hunter's. He pushed his hand into Sam's jeans, fingers playing with the curls there, teasing him. Sam squirmed and whimpered with anticipation.

"Please," he gasped.

Gabe chuckled before finally wrapped his fingers around his thick member. Sam's answering noise nearly drove him crazy.

He started slowly, stroking him with long, lazy pumps. Sam's breath matched pace.

Sam was in heaven, so to speak. How long had he imagined this, imagined him? Even back when Gabriel had been nothing but the pesky trickster, he had found himself intrigued and confused by him. He was the first man he had ever been attracted to.

But he's not the only one…

A small voice tried to whisper through the haze of alcohol and arousal. A brief thought flickered to Lucifer. Should he be doing this now?

"Gah!" He gasped when he was snapped back to reality by the sensation of heat around his member. He suddenly realized that Gabe was no longer on his lap, but on his knees. His hands were carefully pushing Sam's thighs apart and his mouth formed a tight, wet, seal over his cock. His tongue lapped at the length of him, teasing his slit.

Sam felt like her was on fire but for once, it didn't burn. He moaned loudly as the smaller man bobbed his head slowly, taking him nearly to the hilt.

"Gabriel," he groaned, one fist gripping the edge of his chair, the other tangled in the angel's soft hair. His hips pushed up, small whimpers meeting his lips.

He could feel heat building in his stomach and trembled, trying to keep it at bay. He didn't want this to end. Gabe, however, had other ideas. He took Sam into his mouth and sank down all the way until the tip was pushing into the back of his throat. He started to swallow, the clenching of his throat and the movement of his tongue was enough to send over. He cried out as he came in the angel's mouth, who sucked greedily and swallowed every drop.

Finally he pulled away and smiled, leaning up to kiss the panting hunter.

"How was that?" he murmured. Sam answered with a soft kiss.

"My turn," he whispered.


End file.
